My Gratitude Journal
October 18
I arrived at the Netherlands on Tuesday. I am grateful that I can see the trees I loved, once again. I like to thank my life, it allows me to be once again a part of these daily views for many years till 2017. Those views and smell of nature teach me the meaning of life.
25 October
This week, I have been in a retreat centre. It is located in a beautiful surrounding. The building had been a monastery of the Augustinus sisters. It maintains Christian spirituality, and we follow the monastery's order more or less. I am so grateful that I can stay here. All difficult times have finally brought me here, a heavenly place. I am so thankful for being here.
I am so grateful to stand on the grass and see many stars again: I missed it so much for years.
It is so quiet. I could meditate alone on the bridge yesterday and today. I am grateful that life has given me such special and beautiful experiences.
27 November
My trip was meaningful, and I am grateful for those unforgettable 26 days. It was just like a pilgrim journey. I had one week in the Celtic Christian retreat centre and another week living in the Augustinian cloister. Besides that, I stayed with my acquaintances, most of whom were related to churches. I could set myself back from a busy and noisy life to a state of pure devotion. I could follow the process of my mind ripening gradually.
I am so grateful for the hospitality of each person I spent time with. I could feel the love of God for us through their acts.
I am also grateful that there was always somebody who helped me carry my baggage during public transport travel.
It has not been easy to adjust to life here again, and I have become sick. Though, I know this time has been given by Him. Being sick gives me enough time to contemplate before I take the next step.
December 10
I am grateful for the gift of darkness. Here, I do not mean the darkness born of anger, resentment, or harm, but moments in our lives when we can not see how to walk or do not know how to find a light amidst sorrow and desperation. Darkness offers a safe space to allow us to shed tears of human pain. Darkness humbles us and lets us - one day - gently appreciate the meaning of the continuation of life on Earth.
The darkness of the winter season guides children to gaze at the flame of candles. Their eyes glisten curiously, reflecting the waving flame. Serene smiles appear on their faces. The winter darkness teaches them the joy of contentment, being comfortably in our shelters in the cold air, and knowing how beautiful the light is and how much it contributes to it.
Birds sing at dawn here, even on a cold winter day, and gently invite me to taste a piece of hope when I wake up. I am grateful. When we can not find the sheep around our dwelling, birds guide us, showing the way. And I think that is the Creation.
Yesterday, a beautiful bird visited my garden. It was tiny and blue, with an orange chest. I found out later it carries a nickname in my country, ‘the bird of happiness’.
30 December
After the busy days of December, silence has returned to my life.
In these two weeks, some meetings have been cancelled, and I suddenly have empty time and space in my diary. That would seem unfortunate, but maybe that's how it has to be; the silence must have been implanted in me. Yesterday became my silent day, and I enjoyed it. I am very grateful for the qualitative moment.
The silence let loneliness disappear and let Love fill me in. I am calm, and I can trust others more. I have given me a space where God writes something new in my life journal, and I will now open that page. The pains ingrained by individual desires gradually disappeared, and I can now humbly wait for His will to descend onto me.
I taste this special transforming period from Christmas to Three Kings.
